im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
