yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
