when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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