hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
