But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
