people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
