I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
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