When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
