Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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