Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
