Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
