I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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