her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
