mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
