how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
whose ass print is on the piano?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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