Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
