I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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