Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
