please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
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