she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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