My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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