is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
