We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
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