Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
