I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
