there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
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just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
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