I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize