So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
