The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
