...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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