This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
