Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
