You made me cry and you don't even care
Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
