my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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