Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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