His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I'm at about main and main street
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Randomize
