i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
