Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
