i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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