So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
