Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
