Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
