I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
