im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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