Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
