Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
