He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Don't EVER smell your tampon
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
