no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
