We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
