Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
