Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize