It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize