Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
