he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
