Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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