So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
