lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
it hurts more in the daytime
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
