I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
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He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
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Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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