Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize