so explain again why im purple
no
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
