is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I want to fling myself into the sun
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
