Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
