I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
operation harelip BJ is a go
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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