Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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