I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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