Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
