i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
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