i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
