Three words: puerto rican gang bang
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
We are two peas in an std pod
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
