How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
