My room smells like vodka and shame
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
