I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
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