i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
pray to the hookup gods
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
