Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
not ubering you a puppy
Randomize
