At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
